Began another drama class this week, and on Saturday I have another audition. So much to do and I feel so unprepared. The monologue I'm trying to have ready for Saturday isn't going well and my husband's too doped up with Nyquil tonight to give me any input. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Is it better to have a network of friends willing to watch you run through your lines again and again or to turn inward and just struggle with it? My read sounds flat. The problem I think is that I chose a monologue from a film I've actually seen - The Black Orchid, 1958. I keep seeing Sophia Loren in my head. Her read was flat too. The part was originally written for Anna Magnani, but audiences wanted to see Loren. When you look like Loren you can read it flat and no one cares.

I'm auditioning for a part in a short film as an Italian grandmother. Went out today and bought a chignon so I could pull my hair back. I hope that works. Maybe I should just brush my hair off my face like Olympia Dukakis in Moonstruck. I don't know what I'm going to wear. I wish I didn't have to have a day job sometimes. There aren't enough hours in the day for all that needs to get done.

Lunch with make up artist Lorna Basse tomorrow. The Today Show is keeping her hopping. All those politicians sweating under the lights. Lorna's terrific. She taught me how to do my own make up for all the times I'd need her and she wouldn't be there. She's usually good for an hysterically funny inside story or two.

At least the drama class started okay. I need to use my hands more though. Sheesh, how can I audition as an Italian grandmother and not use my hands? Maybe I'll be the Anne Bancroft kind of Italian grandmother, just look sulky and smoke.

Panic is setting in.