It’s been a long time since I’ve been in Los Angeles. My goals as an actress have never wavered, but something was wrong with my approach and until I figured it out I felt I was just spinning my wheels. Terribly frustrating. When I left four years ago I had just done a commercial package for Rocket Mortgage and a meaty guest role on The Young & the Restless. Then Covid hit and everything ground to a halt. Even when the industry tried to soldier on it meant showing up on set in the equivalent of a haz-mat suit, which I wasn’t emotionally prepared to do. When it finally seemed like film and TV production was starting to return to normal, the unions went on strike. Then the fires. Even now returning to normal seems farther away. There are fewer productions and auditions than before all this happened. Now the talk is of Artificial Intelligence eliminating acting jobs.
Wyoming Traffic
And yet, suddenly it felt like the time to come back to LA
and get prepared. New headshots. More
classes with actor/director Rob Brownstein at An Actors’ Space. I can’t point to any positive
news or anything that has noticeably changed for the better, just a gut
feeling. I pay attention to gut feelings.
So, here I am. My husband and I had planned to be home in
Wyoming for the holidays, but circumstances and good neighbors willing to keep
an eye on our place brought us sooner. I’m dodging traffic and relearning my
old routes. Bette Davis, when asked how to get to Hollywood, once famously
said, “Take Fountain,” and I do, for old times’ sake. I’m thankful that Laurel
Canyon was 
LA Traffic I-5
spared the destruction as I like all its winding turns through the
hills. I love the quirky shops and billboards I pass in West Hollywood, and the
cool, clear air that comes with winter.
One thing that is different is me. Four years in the peace of a small mountain town has changed my perspective. I’ve stepped away from rage-bait news online. I focus on what I have control over and let the rest go. Like my Wyoming neighbors I greet everyone with a smile, even here in LA where people on the street sometimes try to avoid eye contact or, faced with the stress of the big city, snarl over trivia. The other night in class I was doing an explosive scene with another actor, and when asked to give it emphasis by thinking of someone I disliked intensely – someone in the news, or in my life – I realized I couldn’t think of a single person. There was no one I stewed over, no one whose actions kept me awake at night.
I think what Wyoming has given me is contentment, and that brings better focus on the things that matter. We shall see what the next few months bring.
